The Day Osama Died

Because I was in the first couple of cars I exited the subway at 8th Ave and didn't know what to expect. But I saw practically nothing out of the ordinary. It was a normal bland scene. I didn't know what to expect. It's kind of a weird thing to be jumping for joy at one's death, but this was a special occasion. I even started singing along with Rare Earth on my way west to try to rile some people up but it fell on deaf ears. Odd.

Made my way past the post office and then took my 24th street route and still nothing. Just had to accept it. Osama Bin Laden and I no longer breathe the same air. Sure, I'm happy about that. And oddly enough, he died pretty much the way he did at the end of the "Jersey" episode of "South Park." I'd be happier if they had him in custody, though. Just take him to Guantanamo and do all sorts of devious things to him:

First torture him for the info. Then strap him down and make him watch gay porn, "Clockwork Orange"-style. Seriously -- make him endure all the things he stood against. Then make him listen to Megadeth's Rust In Peace and Slayer's Reign In Blood and then, if he won't make with the details, just sever a digit a day. If that doesn't work, shoot his legs and let them get infected. More Megadeth, more Slayer, and Pantera's Far Beyond Driven.

Who's to say they didn't do that? The media reported that it was a 45-minute shootout that had no American casualties. Good. They didn't interrogate him? Well, I suppose I'd believe they just shot at him and hit him knowing he'd take his own life before he gave up anyone. Know your enemy. Then they did something smart: In keeping with Muslim burial traditions, dropped him at sea. No grave, no martyrdom. There's the closure that it was him and that he's gone. If any of his fanatics really want to be with him that bad, they'll either try to fish him out (and likely die trying) or take their own lives.

Listening to Monster Magnet's nicer way of saying "burn in hell" -- "Perish In Fire."

So they are going to bury Osama at sea to keep anyone from visiting a grave site. Just like in "You're Dead" by Megadeth.
DEAR DAVE MUSTAINE: Please open with this song and dedicate it to the seaweed-shrouded corpse of Osama Bin Laden.

Nothing really happening at Ground Zero. No tourists, no celebrations. I must say I'm marginally disappointed. I always had wondered what this day would've been like -- if I'd even live to see it. There are people who have come and gone and Fidel Castro outlived them. Still, I'm glad he's gone. On to the next radical asshole!

GNR - "Bad Apples"
Foo Fighters - "Matter of Time"

Thank you for reading.